Would you wait?

It’s me again, haha. I currently feel like I am in this stagnant place in my life right now and writing has really been helping me sort through my feelings so here I am again, back with another post. So you all have probably heard the phrase , “the one that got away” when talking to a friend or watching a romantic comedy. I feel like this phrase has been repeated in my head so much within the past several months. Regardless if someone broke up with you, missed an opportunity, or you ended a relationship with someone you could have a “the one who got away” affiliation with someone or two or three, haha.

I’ve been in three romantic relationships since high school and I ended the last two. I hope to eventually talk about my first relationship because that one really shaped me, but I’ll get to that one day… maybe. Anyway, both of the guys I broke up with are now in happy relationships. Now you all may be thinking, why are you dwelling on those relationships when you’re the one who broke up with them?! Well the simple answer is, I am emotional and I still care. My decisions to break up with those people were not easy and I still have so much care for those two people. With the first relationship, in this instance, I lost someone who I considered to be one of my best friends, and though we talk via social media every now and again I can’t establish a consistent friendship because it hurts me since I know we can’t be together. I have random communication with the second person and they are at the beginning stages of a new relationship. This hurts me because me and this person should’ve worked because we were super compatible and everything should have worked but like something was just off. I can’t put my finger on it, but I wasn’t as happy as I know I could’ve been. So I guess you could say these two are the ones that got away in my life?

So knowing that you could potentially have this “one that got away feeling” would you potentially wait for someone who is in a relationship that you think would be the one for you? I am really great friends with this guy and we get along really well but the main problem is, you guessed it, he’s in a relationship. Of course I would never think of trying to get in between a guy and his girlfriend because that’s just messy and I could only imagine being that girl in the relationship and having to deal with that. So obviously that’s not even an option… I wouldn’t say that I am waiting for this person to not be in this relationship anymore but I can say I was hype when I found out Ariana Grande has a new song called “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” When I read this title I was seriously like Ari definitely wrote this song for me, haha. However, I am currently realizing that if someone was supposed to be my person they would be and they eventually will be. So this situation is what it is. I am still friends with this guy and I’ve been transparent with how I feel so at this point, I’ve done everything I can.

I think my main concern with having the “it is what it is” mentally is that I don’t want to get complacent. If you read my last post, I am ready. I think I made that point clear enough in that post, haha. But putting in effort when it is not reciprocated is truly emotionally draining. Also, I love hard and develop feelings easily so it does get tricky to have that “I don’t care” mentality when I do care. However, I truly appreciate transparency when dealing with guys and I try to be as transparent and vulnerable as possible. So we’ll see what is to come, it’s only January so I have time left this year!