So yes, I know, it’s been more than a minute since I’ve had a blog post. There are a few reasons for that, one being trying to navigate living in a pandemic that seems like it’s going to last forever. 2021 is almost ending, and there’s a new variant that is causing a huge spike in cases. I remember in 2020, when this “thing” first started everyone thought that it was going to be a month thing or maybe a few months at the maximum and now we’re going on year three. Though the pandemic is causing me so much anxiety, I didn’t come here to talk about the details of the virus but the social, emotional, and mental effects that it has caused.
Though I consider myself an introvert, not being able to engage in my usual social activities such as going out to dinner with a friend or having a friend come over to watch a movie has been so hard. This is extremely stressful, however I think the most stressful pat is the “dating scene” or lack there of. If you didn’t know, trying to date in a pandemic is HARD! Dating was already hard, especially in the world of online dating when you have to worry about being catfished or wondered if the person you’ve developed feelings for is going to ghost you. Now you have to worry about if the person is vaccinated, how many people they have hung out with that potentially had covid but were asymptotic, and if they are being cautious at social gatherings. It is honestly so much to think about that I’ve practically given up at this point. Also, since winter is here there are not many options for outside dates when it’s cold and I am not really comfortable doing things inside unless I can keep my mask on the whole time. Usually the “go to” first date is dinner and you can’t eat with a mask on, so that eliminates that option.
Personally, I haven’t even made it to a place where I’ve wanted to meet someone new because I haven’t had any luck with dating apps. I used to be a huge advocate for dating apps as it is the easiest way to connect with someone since there are thousands of people on there, but it just seems like the pool is so shallow and the water is murky. I feel like pre-pandemic, people were intentional about being on dating apps and were there for finding a relationship or at least clear on what they wanted. Now, I think that since so many people were at home and didn’t have anything to do anyone and everyone signed up. So yes there are a lot of options but it’s definitely a quantity or quality type thing at this point. I am definitely convinced that I will be single as long as this pandemic is going on and I’m trying to be okay with that, but it’s easier said than done.
As a 26 year old grad student, I always imagined that I’d have met and been with “my person” by now. Though I know I’m not ready for marriage right now, I thought that I would have been dating and in a serious relationship with my future husband. It’s definitely hard as several of my friends are in serious relationships (one of my best friends, who is also my cousin is getting married next year), and another great friend is living with her boyfriend in another city. Then you add the pressure of social media, seeing so many couples get engaged (especially around the holidays) and experiencing various milestones together such as buying a new house or getting married. I definitely find myself comparing myself to others, but I have to remind myself that I don’t know if they are actually happy in their relationship. Even if I do know that they are happy it doesn’t mean that I am “less than” because I don’t have a significant other. And even if they are happy and their relationship is going perfectly it probably won’t always be perfect because as cliché as it sounds nothing in life is perfect and nothing in life ever stays the same, good or bad.
I could go on and on about being single, you can ask my closest friends and family because they have heard me talk about this A LOT the past several years, but being single during a pandemic is truly a unique experience. Since most of your time is spent at home, when you don’t have a significant other you’re by yourself a lot. The pandemic also adds extra stress and for me I’ve felt like I needed more emotional support, and if you’re single you aren’t getting that from a romantic partner. A lot of times I just want to cuddle up next to someone and watch a movie, but I can’t do that and that just gets very frustrating since I know the person I’ll end up with is physically out there somewhere…we just aren’t together yet for whatever reason. So, long story short (if you know, you know haha) I blame the pandemic for being single and yes I understand there are worse things, but I wanted to share so that people know that they are not alone if they are experiencing singleness in a pandemic.
